How to Talk to Anyone (Boss, Professor, or Otherwise) Without Sounding Like a Suck-Up

Whether you’re a student or an entry-level employee, talking to your professor, supervisor or boss can sometimes seem a bit scary. You want to seem competent and educated without coming off like a suck-up; it’s a difficult balance to achieve.

In order to successfully chat with your professor about your performance in class or with your boss to discuss that potential raise, consider the following points as a guide for your future conversation.

1. Get Over Your Fear

First and foremost, you will have to simply get over your fear of talking to authority. While it might sound easier said than done, it’s actually not. It is in the job description of your professors and work supervisors to talk with students and employees. They are there to listen to your concerns, questions and just about everything related to your class or job.

Most of the time, professors and bosses enjoy discussing these matters with people like you, especially if you’re prepared, so take a deep breath, pull yourself together and get rid of those pre conference jitters.

2. Come Prepared for Your Chat

Just like class, you should come to your professor or boss’s office for your conversation prepared and ready to discuss anything related to your class or job. You wouldn’t come to class without having done the assigned reading or checking that long email thread from your boss, would you? The same applies here; this is definitely not a “just wing it!” situation.

If you have a question about an upcoming test or essay prompt, make sure you have specific questions that can help you make the most of your professor’s office hours. If you’re asking for a raise or promotion, make sure you have all of your research and supporting evidence like successful projects to help them make a decision. Essentially, you can make the whole process easier and more effective if you come prepared.

Another key part of being prepared: Think about all potential outcomes, especially if you’re going in with a request. If you’ve prepared yourself for every result, you’ll feel a lot more confident going in.

3. Research What the Other Person Has Done Beforehand

People, especially those in authority, love when their employees or students humor their ego, so use the Internet to your advantage for when you want to talk to your boss or professor. Look up your boss’s professional history and see who he or she knows in your current field or a field you are hoping to break into, or use your university’s library to read your professor’s research or doctoral thesis. All of these will make great jumping off points and will show your boss or professor that you did your homework for the conversation.

4. Be Proactive

It cannot be stressed enough that you should never prolong a discussion with your boss or professor if you are experiencing a problem at your job or if you are struggling in the course.

First, it’s irresponsible to you as a student and employee. Your job or class standing could be jeopardized just because you didn’t go and talk to your supervisor before the problem got out of hand. Second, your boss or professor will probably not treat you with the same amount of sympathy and understanding that they most likely would have bestowed upon you if you came to them when you first started having problems. So, the first sign of struggle is when you should schedule a time to sit down with your boss and professor and attack the problem.

Now that you know how to talk to your professors and bosses like the adult you are, go and schedule a time to talk with them. Whether it’s just to chat or to discuss a problem, they will appreciate that you took the time to speak with them. Now get talking!